I've had one of the hardest days today with my son. He is almost 2 and he's well advanced in the defiance stage.
He has this thing about kicking our dogs. He thinks its funny. Its not. They will bite him if he does it enough. We've been trying to learn the best way(s) to correct him, but no way has been effective yet. Usually we give him a warning, and then put him in his bed with no toys. TOnight after that didn't work, I tried to just pick him up and force him to sit in my lap for time out. He believes that he is stronger than me and that if he writhes enough, I'll give in. I didn't give in, but for 15 minutes he cried, and screamed and writhed. I got my work out in, for sure. And he kicked the hell out of my pregnant stomach. I can't even tell you how sore I am....
I had to pop him earlier today, and I cried when I did because I hurt him. He is vehemently opposed to having his diaper changed. I don't know why. Its unreal. But when I carry him to his room to change him, he fights me, and hits and kicks me (again, in my stomach.....I'm so scared he's going to make me lose my baby). Once I lay him down on his changer, he kicks me - HARD. I press his legs down and tell him 'no' and say "stop kicking. No kicking, no hitting!" He does know the word 'no' but he blatantly refuses. Sometimes I try to make a game out of the changing and say "Look how fast we can change you!!!!!" He kicked me so hard today, I raised up his bare bottom and popped him hard with a big "NO!" After he looked at me with scared, hurt eyes of "mommy.....what? why?" he started crying so hard, and I started crying with him. I hugged him and said "I'm sorry but you cannot do that!" Thank God he was my friend a few moments later.... but I was so scared that he would push me away, that he wouldn't think that I love him with all my heart.
I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm doing this right.
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Sixteen Inches
- Head vs Heart
- There are approximately 16 inches between my head and my heart. This distance equals miles of difference between the two. Thus, my struggle....
4 comments:
Hi there ;0) This is Angie, DM's eldest daughter....sounds like we are both dealing with "the terrible twos". I recently read something about knowing the difference between childish behavior and willful disobedience. I was being way too harsh with my daughter. I totally felt convicted after reading that....
It has really been a challenge finding the best way to disciple our daughter...I think one of the big things is being consistant...both parents being on the same page. We also have a 5 month old who is pretty demanding. It has been an adjustment...but we're all surviving ;0) Would love to keep in touch with you.
I'll be praying for you!
Angie
Katie... drop us a note (via e-mail) if you want and we can interact a little more w/ you on this one...as a parent w/ 28 yrs experience I do have a few thoughts I could share w/ you...Remember you have the hardest job on the planet...(it's 24/7....often times thankless, it's physical/ mental/emotionally draining....on top of that you are expecting...(which I have no clue of, but having watched my wife go through it 4 times know you have a full plate...I'm glad you posted this one... rooting for you (and Angie ) :-) DM
Katie, my heart goes out to you! I just want you to know ... despite me NOT being a parent just yet, I find that a mother's job is a tough one! I share the same sentiments as DM that it is the hardest job on the planet ... and while sometimes you might think you're not 'doing it right' or you're 'doing something wrong' it's in those moments that you realize you're doing something right! I firmly believe in discipline with a spanking ... my parents did it and I'm thankful for them doing that. Sure, it wasn't fun at the time, but I'll tell you what ... it sure taught me a lesson to NOT do what I was doing to receive that spanking. I look back on those moments in my life and I realize that if I didn't have the discipline of my mother and father, I wouldn't be the person I am today ... so hang tough dear friend ... it sounds like you have your hands full, and on top of that, you're expecting! Hang in there ... I will be praying for you, your son and your unborn baby ... Much Love ... ~Emily
Hello, my friends! Thank you for your words of encouragement. Its SOO crazy being a parent. You feel alone in the process, yet anyone who is a parent (or even had a childhood, which counts for us all!) has experienced the parent-child relationship, and can understand one side, if not both sides!
Angie, I recently read the same thing about understanding the difference between willful disobedience and childish behavior. That REALLY help shed some light on my reactions to my son's actions. It helped me to analyze my next moves before being too harsh. At times, when I'm at my most anxious end-of-the-rope, I have to think TWICE about my next move to make sure that I don't over react. Isn't it amazing how fast children become independent little headstrong people?? Wish they could all be 2 months old forever sometimes. Hang in there with your little ones! Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!!
DM, "draining" is absolutely the word for it. It took me a while to "get it" but I'm finally understand that being a parent is not only the most important job in life, but the most exhausting. But I suppose an important job should go hand in hand with the amount of work that goes into the job itself. I think that's where I get nervous - is when I think about how important it really is, and how much I don't want to screw up my part.
Emily, i'm absolutely with you - I received my fair share of butt whoopings when I acted up, and I appreciate the lessons of realignment. I, too, would not be who I am if I didn't get the stick every now and again. I'm hanging in there. Thank you again for your encouragement, my friend!!
Be blessed, my friends. Thank you again!!
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