The first thing I do when I begin a new book is remove the dust jacket. It simply gets in the way, and I will ruin it before I get to chapter 2, so off it goes.....
The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren: my new adventure in reading. The Secret Life of Bees is still in my reading agenda, as I'm 100 pages out from finishing, but I need to start this new one. I'm still not sold on it, but I'm open minded.
The reason why I'm not in.... I already have a purpose-driven life. My heart is in the right place. I feel that I have a deeper calling to my purpose that I'm saddened to not understand, and I'm frustrated to not see. Such is life, though. I've never been able to see my "purpose" until later, but that's how I've always liked to live my life. I've never wanted to state a claim to future goals and ambitions. I've always wanted to live my life by going into each day with a new beginning, and then turning around at the end of a period of time, or a chapter in life, and observing the path I had just came down. That has been fulfillment to me; that has been what has excited me about life and kept me charged for the next chapter.
But anymore, I find it hard to do. Maybe its because I'm married now; maybe because I'm a mother. I tend to find myself hoping for more predicatability and structure, so as to not inconvenience my child or husband. I know that sounds wierd as they are in this journey with me, and we are on a journey together. As a single person, I wasn't too concerned with where I was going personally because I didn't have any "baggage" (not spoken negatively....only spoken in the terms that I wouldn't inconvenience those on the journey with me). I could go and go and go, and wherever I would end up, that's where I was - good or bad. Now, if bad, that's where I have my child and husband. Its a weird twist. Being new in marriage (almost 3 years) and wanting so badly for it to work forever, I haven't exactly grasped the concept of "togetherness" in its full capacity. I still feel alone, most of the time, on my journey and tend to take for granted that I have a partner in life. I know thats a dizzying intellect, but you'll find that my logic goes in circles sometimes. Just trying to type as I think.... I figure out my theories that way.
I've never felt like my life was my own. That's not negative - its simply truth. I've always believe that my purpose in life was for whatever the Lord has for me. I am His to use, period. Lately, I have struggled with that theory. I still believe it, but my mind and flesh keep tugging at my heart, telling me that my own personal "need" for self-accomplishment is the key to my happiness and fulfillment. Not so, says my heart, but my mind is taking over. This has been the source of my depression for quite a few months. Now that I have a baby, and my time is now diverted to his needs everyday, I have anxiety about the things that I SHOULD be doing instead - and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm doing what I SHOULD be doing NOW - not what anyone else, or even my mind says that I SHOULD be doing. I'm doing what the Lord has me doing - and that is preparing my son's life for greatness in the Lord. I'm his mother, and there's no other job more noble or fulfilling. Everyday I get a little closer to realization.
So on to the introduction to the first chapter. I'm very impressed with the verse used to introduce the chapter:
Jeremiah 17:7 -8: "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose trust is the Lord. For he is like a tree that is planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green and it will not be anxious in a year of drought, nor cease to yield fruit."
THIS VERSE is going to go on an index card and taped to my bathroom mirror.
The very first page of the first chapter shares the same views as I have - my life is not my own, and I exist only because its God's will that I exist, and He is my creator.
Interesting .... Warren refers to "self help" books as leading to dead ends. Thank GOD my theory was thwarted there about THIS book. I was under the impression that this was one of THOSE books. He happens to hate those books too. (GOOD BYE to books like "The Secret." BAH!) The focus on "self" is actually the single downfall of man - Adam and Eve believed that they could be their own gods, and focused on saving themselves, and ate the apple. The serpent gave them them "self help" advice. "Eat the apple, and you will be like God." They successfully ate the apple, but then missed the point. They were miserable, and soon were humbled by their focus on self, and ashamed, and therefore began the spiraled downfall of mankind - the focus on "self-fulfillment" and such. Self centered does not constitute a God-centered life, unless YOU are God, and YOU (and I) are (am) not.
Warren mentions that there are 2 ways to discovering God's purpose for your life: SPECULATION and REVELATION.
Speculation is merely guessing. Obviously.
Revelation is asking God to reveal.
God doesn't always reveal in the ways that we feel he should, right? He doesn't just shout it to us, or whisper in our ear what our next move should be. This frustrates us in our day of instant communication. Patience and being still and listening is NOT a waste of our time. I have the hardest time with patience - but this is something I need to realize is part of my purpose. My every move should be based on what God wants me to do, and that I need to take the time to listen to his "voice" in whatever form it may be.
I think the thing that is hardest for us, as human beings, as creatures of GOd, to understand and grasp, is that our purpose is for a far bigger plan than we can ever understand, and than we will ever have the opportunity on this earth to see. We have a selfish desire to "want to know, and know now" what our purpose is, and how we fit the mix, that we often get discouraged, and resort to the self-fulfillment philosophies of life because they are the instant gratifications and immediate happiness, and fill us with pride for our accomplishments. Its time to get over that. And I'm going to work on this.
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3 comments:
You have SO MANY great thoughts...having 'purpose' is so hard sometimes, when you have a husband, a job, kids...life seems to get so bombarded by those things that the 'purpose' you thought you had gets a little cloudy and you think you're not doing what you intended to do...as years have gone by in my life, I've questioned my decisions and timing...I too am VERY bad at being patient, so I think...perhaps, I've made decisions in haste, possibly missing out of the things that God wanted for me in that moment in time...but I also think...God can use our decisions, maybe made hastily, for the good...directing us back to that very 'purpose' He had for us all along...I don't know really...that's just a thought...I've read the Purpose Driven Life and I think you'll like it! Much like you, and Rick Warren, 'self-help' books are sometimes more nonsense then they are help, in my opinion; but his book really is a guide rather then saying 'do this, do that' and you'll succeed...enjoy the book! And...if I may suggest a great book...it's called 'In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day'...I know...long title, but it's a profound book...it asks the question, 'What if the life you really want, and the future God wants for you, is hiding right now in your biggest problem, your worst failure, your greatest fear?' I think we often take purpose and construe it with fame and fortune, like you talked about with your brother-in-law...and I think...fear is the culprit when we truly look inside ourselves...perhaps it’s fear of failure, fear of rejection... if only we could eliminate that and truly become the people we were meant to become...I think we could truly be successful…not in the things of this world, but the ‘purpose driven life’ that God has called us to…
Have a blessed New Year! I look forward to reading more of your thoughts!
Thank you Emily for your insight. I absolutely agree with you and believe that we are definitely on the same page. I will check out that book for sure. Thank you and I look forward to visiting your blog as well. Its very uplifting! Thank you for visiting. Be blessed.
Basing every move on what God wants us to do and what we want to do can be miles and miles apart from one another. We constantly doubt what's around the corner - the unseen. However, we have a multitude of examples from our very own life that we have experienced and lived that prove His had is on everything we do. I can look back and know without any uncertainty that when I am in tune with and listening for God's guidance that my life goes so much smoother. I isn't that circumstances are any better or I'm getting my way, but I just deal with what comes my way with a greater sense of calmness. Why is it so hard to be still and listen when He's proven to us time and time again that it works. Do I have a bad case of selective memory or am I just that selfish? Hmmm...
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